I m going to help you
by vainilla94
Summary: Thorin felt broken. He let his nephews going with him on that mad adventure, and he could not protect them. He felt alone, he wanted to be alone. But there was people who was going to help him.
1. Chapter 1

**I´m going to help you.**

_-Thorin – a distant voice was calling him. - Thorin, wake up._

_When he opened his eyes, he saw a well known face._

_-Balin? What happens? _

_He had a terrible headache._

_-Keep calm, you are fine. We´ve almost lost you, but you have been strong._

_-Where I am?_

_-Thorin? - he heared a new voice. He moved his eyes and he saw the hobbit Bilbo Baggins, who was standing on the door of the room. Was this place Erebor? Was him in Erebor? He just knew he was lying in a comfortable bed. His headache was so frightful that he could not think anything else._

_-Is he better?_

_-Yes, Bilbo. As Gandalf said, he has woken up, but don´t overwhelm him._

_-Gandalf? Wait, where I am? What´s going on?_

_-Thorin, please, keep calm, you have to..._

_Gandalf, the journey, Erebor, the elves, the men, Smaug, the battle,... Fíli._

_-Where is Fíli? - Thorin remembered suddenly. - Where is Fíli?_

_Balin and Bilbo looked at each other, and memories arrived Thorin´s mind. His nephew, his heir, felt in the trap. Azog had killed him. Azog..._

_-And Kíli?_

_Both of them kept on silence._

_-Where is Kíli? Where is my nephew?_

_Nothing._

_-Where? Where is my nephew?!_

_-Thorin, please..._

_-Kíli! Kíli!_

_-Thorin!_

-Thorin, Thorin, wake up.

Thorin opened his eyes slowly. The nightmare, once more. And once more, to wape up to discover that it was true.

-The nightmare again? - asked Dwalin.

-Yes – replied Thorin, tired. - Again.

-You have to get dressed. They get back today.

Reality felt over Thorin like cold water. That day, the first caravans of dwarves arrived from Ered Luin. But for him, it was not a source of joy.

He went down to have breakfast with his companions. He sat next to Bilbo. The hobbit, who had decided to stay in Erebor until Thorin´s coronation, would give him courage.

At midday, the first carriages began to arrive. The eleven dwarves, the hobbit and the wizard Gandalf were situated on the entry of the kingdom, waiting to receive them. Thorin had dressed with his better clothes and his crown, to show everybody that the mountain had retourned to his king. Doors opened, and many dwarves began to go out from the cars. They were all looking fascinated to the ancient kingdom built into the mountain. His companions left the composure very soon, and they ran to reunite with their families and loved ones. Bofur was kissing to his mother, his brother and his nephew; Dwalin was embrassing his lover, as Balin was hailing to his future sister in law; Gloin was crying as he was reuniting with his son, who looked so much like him...

Between people, Thorin saw a dwarf with brown hair who had just gone out from a car. She was quiet, with her sight empty. She wasn´t laughing, she wasn´t criyng. She was just looking around her. Then, she saw him, and he felt little, dirty, … broken. She looked at him with fury, with hate, with reproach, with guilt, with hurt. She lead him all the hurt she had suffered for six months, since the battle; and he felt it himself, and it was addited to the hurt that he suffered himself.

_-Dís, I´m sorry – _he tryed to direct her his thoughs. - _Forgive me._

But the dwarf just rounded and she came into the car again. Thorin knew she had done that to cry alone.

While everybody was eating on the dining room, Thorin was in his room, thinking about an idea that he could not make dissapear. For the first time in years, he wanted to go away, to return to Ered Luin to live a simple live. How would he become a king, if he couldn´t protect his heirs? How would he take care of a kingdom, if he had left his nephews to go with him on an mad adventure? Dís had told him, she had prayed him, to left them on Ered Luin, they were young, the could not have the same destiny that his father, his husband, had. She said they could not leave her alone. And what did he said? They were not children, he could not force them to stay, they could make their own decissions. And now, they were dead. Woul his sister talk to him again some day? He hated everything. He hated himself.

-So, here you are.

No, please, not that voice, not in that moment...

-I´ve been looking for you. The old man with the hat has told me where I could find you. Iwant you to know that I think it´s rude to leave a lady looking for you by this way.

Thorin ignored her; maybe, she would go away. By contrast, he felt a hand over his shoulder.

-I want to be alone.

At the moment, he felt bad for what he had said.

-Really?

Thorin forced himself to turn around, and he saw the most beautiful face of Middle Earth, looking at him with eyes fulled of compassion. Something inside of him made him embrace the young one, and he started to cry on his shoulder.

-I am an stupid, a miserable, a wretched...

-Thorin! Don´t say that – said the young girl, obviously surprised about the other´s attitude.

-Yes, I am. My nephews, they … - he didn´t finish, and he went on crying.

-My love, please, calm down.

She let him cry. When he stopped, he felt a bit better.

-It´s fine – said the lady to him, and she kissed him. The heart of the king stopped beating when he felt these lips again. She embraced him again, and she began to kiss him on his check.

-I love you, I love you... - she was saying to his hear.

-I do not deserve you. I am a killer, I do not deserve you, Graella.

She looked at him scared.

-But, what are you saying? Thorin, really, stop now, please.

-I sent them here, and I could not protect them.

\- They followed you themselves.

-And I let them. I was sending them to a sure death. I knew that.

-You couldn´t force them to stay there. They would have gone with you by all the ways. They loved you. Thorin, we all knew where did you go and what could happen, but we could not do anything. It was your decission. You think you sister wanted you to go on this journey? Do you think she hadn´t cried if... if you had died?

Graella had tears on her eyes, and his lover noticed that.

-It has been terrible, for everybody. When the news of Fíli and Kíli arrived us, our hires broke. But the new that you were stucked in the middle, was even worst. You could live, but you could die too. And we were on the other side of the world. Do you know what is that? Your sister was always praying. The hope that you ´d live was the only thing that kept her alive. You are the only thing she has. And I... I don´t know how many times I have hated you. To you, because you decided to leave; to my father, because he did not leave us to get married before because of his scare for me to get widow; and to you again because to did what he said... I ´ ve hated so many people... But now I see you, and hate goes away. I love you Thorin, and I only want to be with you, anything else. Marry you, become a queen, I don´t care the responsabilities it takes. And I know it does not help you, but, in a future, when everything will be alright, I´d want to … have sons, to have a family – she said getting red. - We can start a new page when the moment arrives, and deaths will pass, and new births will arrive. I will be here, Thorin, even if you don´t like it. Now i´m not afraid. You are not alone – she said catching his hand. - I´m going to help you.

Thorin looked at his lover, so young, so much younger than him. He felt an energy inside of him. He felt a peace he did not felt in so much time. And then, he noticed he was smiling. He got approach to the dwarf who had stolen his hire, and he kissed her, slowly and gently, as he caressed her hand. When their lips separated from each other, the mainteined their fronts united.

-I love you too, Graella. With all my heart. And even if pain gnaws me, even if strengths fail me, I´m going to help you too. I promise you – he said, kissing her again. - I swear you.


	2. Chapter 2

Thorin woke up with the firsts sunbeams. After he had opened his eyes slowly, it was difficult for him to remember why he felt so happy. Then, he felt a body that was hugging him. He smiled amply when he looked at her lover, who was now his wife, so next to him. She was smiling too, and he asked himself if she was dreaming with him. Although he was desiring to wake her up with a kiss, to say her good morning as he caressed her hair, he decided to let her sleep a bit more; it had been a long night for both of them. Then, he had another idea. He got up and got dressed in silence, and he came in for the kitchens.

As he was going down through the stairs, he heared a voice talking to him.

-Good morning.

Thorin got surprised when he discovered that the person who was talking to him, was his sister.

-Good morning.

A moment of silence followed these words.

-What are you doing here so early?

-I can´t sleep. It happens to me usually.

-Oh - Thorin understood, and he cursed himself.

-And you, why you are not with your wife?

-I have decided to prepare her the breakfast, and bring it to her in bed.

-Good idea. Very original - he noticed the irony in her words.

-I thank it could be a nice gesture.

-Yes, I suppose. It was a beautiful wedding. And she is a great women. Take care of her.

-Dís - he called his sister, before she had gone. - We have to talk.

-Now?

-Yes, now.

Dís approached to him, until they were face to face.

-Well, what do you want to say?

-I want to say you that I´m sorry, Dís. Really sorry. It was my fault, it´s truth. And believe me, there is not a day in which I don´t remember you asking me to leave them with you. There is no a day in which I don´t blame myself, in which I think I do not deserve what I have. Sometimes I would want to have died with them, or instead of them. I know you hate me; I know you have too many reasons to don´t talk to me anymore, but... you are my sister, Dís. My little sister. I have always been next to you. And I love you. I will always be next to you. And, if you need me, i will be here. I will help you.

Dís looked deeply to her brother, with tears on her eyes.

-I have to go - she said, and she turned around. But, instead of going on walking, she turned again and she embraced Thorin. They stayed there five seconds, and then, Dís set him free and she disappeared through the corridor.

Thorin was still thinking about that when he retourned to his room, with the tray on his hands. Graella hadn´t rouse yet, and Thorin´s concerns dissapeared when he looked at her. He let the tray of food over the bed, and he kissed to her lips before saying ¨good morning¨ on her ear. Against open her eyes, she started to snore. Thorin laughed, and he kissed her neck. This time, she woke up.

-What time is it?

-It is nine o´clock, my heaven.

-Nine? And why do I feel like I had not sleep more than four hours?

-Because we haven´t slept more than four hours.

-Yes, you are right - she said, trying to don´t get red.

She kissed his husband, shoftly firstly, and more passionate later. When they stopped just to catch air, Graella noticed that he was dressed ... while she was nacked.

-Why you are ... ? - she asked, when she saw the tray.

-Really? - she said, laughing. - Breakfast in bed?

Thorin got a bit angry. Maybe Dís had been right, and the idea wasn´t very original.

-Yes, I supposed you would like to ... - Graella didn´t let him finish, because she put her mouth on his.

-I love you, Thorin - she said to him, looking into his blue eyes. - More than anything.

-And I love you, Graella - he said too. He loved her, more than gold or the Arkenstone. And if she was with him, he could go on. No matter what it happened.


End file.
